


Measured Out

by Tabithian



Series: Bats in the Belfry [2]
Category: Batgirl (Comic), Batman - Fandom, Birds of Prey (Comic), DCU, DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-11
Updated: 2012-07-11
Packaged: 2017-11-09 15:06:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/456849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabithian/pseuds/Tabithian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow, this is Tim's life now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Measured Out

**Author's Note:**

> I needed something fluffy? *hands*

Somehow, this is Tim's life now.

"Uh. You know when I told you my dad wanted me to get a part-time job I didn't mean for you to go out and buy a coffee shop, right?" Because, well. That's kind of important to put out there. Probably.

"Tim. What do you see?"

Almost definitely a trick question. "...Computers?" Because really, there are a lot of them. More like a command center, actually, which. Yes. He knows. 

"And? What else?"

Tim knows he shouldn't, but he can't help himself, and honestly, she's asking for it. "A very cranky woman who is in dire need of a caffeine fix?" And oh, there goes the glare. "...Who looks great tonight, by the way." Even while glaring daggers at him.

"Nice try, kiddo," Barbara says, relenting. "Also, that last part." 

Wait, what? "You." This is. Actually, Tim's starting to discover that this is pretty much typical behavior for the people creeping into his life, filling in all the empty spaces. "You bought a coffee shop because you needed coffee."

Barbara gives him a look. 

"Oh my God," Tim says, incredulous. "You bought a coffee shop because you needed coffee." There's a Starbucks a few blocks away, if she'd told Tim before he headed over he could have stopped to get her her usual. "I could have gotten you coffee on my way here."

Barbara sighs, like Tim isn't looking at the big picture here, and pats his head as though he's a particularly adorable puppy. "Starbucks is the devil, Tim."

"They got your order wrong _one time_."

"The devil," Barbara insists, turning back to her keyboard as she brings something up on the monitors. 

Photos of a an old church that was renovated, remodeled into a coffee shop a few years ago. Its previous owners had been forced to declare bankruptcy, or so the paperwork on one monitor shows, and Barbara had snatched the place up because she needed her daily caffeine fix, what even. 

Barbara shoots him a look, corner of her mouth twitching and a new screen comes up.

"...Seriously?" Tim asks, staring. "Seriously."

"I knew you'd like it," Barbara says, laughing at him. 

"You don't think that's, I don't know, asking for trouble?" Tim's not worried about the shop attracting villainous attention (that will happen regardless, this is Gotham), so much as he's worried about, well, _Batman_.

Barbara smiles. "Dick helped me pick the name," she says, which. Of course he did. Tim doesn't know why he didn't see it sooner, really. And then, because it's Barbara - 

"What's the catch?" Tim asks, eyes narrowed. He likes Barbara, he does. She's amazing, and if he had to get caught by someone, he's glad it was her - considering the alternative, but. But there's no way he can run the shop by himself if Barbara hopes to make anything resembling profit.

Barbara smiles, fingers flying over her keyboard. "Your co-workers," she says, more in the line of a movie villain than anything else. 

And, oh. That's. "This is such a bad idea, I can't even begin to tell you how bad an idea it is." Tim sighs, staring at the grinning faces of Robin and Batgirl. They think it's adorable that he's Barbara's sidekick ( _partner_ ) Barbara found trying to hack her systems, and. There's no way this will end well for him. 

"I'm blaming you when this blows up in my face, by the way." Because that's just how Tim's luck tends to run.

Barbara smiles at him, no. It's like she's radiating smug, like she knows she has him. "Don't be such a pessimist Tim. Everything's going to work out fine, you'll see."

Tim bites his cheek at that because _really_? What better way to jinx the hell out of things.

********

Tim's always been what other people tend to think of as precocious. He knows, he does, but. To him it's just how things are.

He discovers the identities of Batman and Robin when he's nine. He's the idiot - why did he ever think it was a good idea? - who stalks them over Gotham's rooftops. He has a terrifying time of it when he realizes _that's not Dick_ in the Robin suit until sightings of Nightwing turn up, and things fall into place, _click, click, click_.

He's sends Batman a message when Jason leaves Gotham on his personal quest because Tim remembers the first time he saw Jason in action, remembers that heart-stopping fear, worry over Dick. 

( _Do you know where your Robin is?_ ) 

There's something in the set of Jason's jaw, the look on his face that sparks that same kind of fear, worry. (Tim has a problem, he knows, but. Security camera footage is there for a reason, isn't it.) Still, he can't bring himself to regret it when Batman and Robin come back to Gotham, Joker in tow.

And, his worst (best?), mistake was attempting to hack Oracle's systems. Look where that got him. (Tim has the horrible suspicion Barbara always wanted a sidekick of her own, and catching Tim was the perfect excuse for her.) 

*******

Cass is lying in wait for him when he walks through the door to Barbara's little superhero sidekick coffee shop, The Belfry. (Barbara is a horrible human being, and she's going to bring Batman down on them because Dick is also a horrible human being and just. _Why_?)

"Tim!"

Tim has has a moment to brace himself before he's being hugged, ribs creaking in protest, but it's Cass, and. It's Cass.

"Cass? Do you know where - " Steph walks into the front of the shop, words trailing off as she spots Tim. Tim being hugged by Cass, her eyes lighting up as she leaps over the counter in a tackle, sending all three to the ground.

"...Ow," Tim says, pitifully, pointing elbows and knees finding his kidneys unerringly. "Nice to see you, Steph." also, more in the way of "ow" because Cass is definitely doing this on purpose. 

"You missed the last girl's night in," Cass says, leaning down to glare at Tim.

"Yeah," Steph chimes in, on the the others side. "Not cool, Tim. Not cool."

Tim tries to wriggle free, but it's Cass and Steph and there's no way he'd getting away from them if they're determined to make him suffer. "I, uh." There's no good answer, even if Tim had been, maybe, a little bit kidnapped at the time. (It happens.)

"Oh, we know," Steph says, poking a finger in the middle of Tim's forehead. "We heard all about it from Dick." A wicked smile because Steph is kind of evil. "Condiment King, really?"

And. Ugh. "He's really tricky, okay?" Tim says, because he actually is. Tricky and smarter than he acts, and okay, Tim was having an off day at the time, that also happens. 

"Riiight," Steph says, finally getting up, pulling Cass with her. "Well, I guess you'll just have to make it up to us, won't you."

Oh, Tim knew this was a bad idea. "Uh."

"Say 'yes'," Cass prompts, eyes narrowed. Not a threat so much as a promise, Tim knows.

"Yes," Tim parrots, with a weak smile. 

Steph cackles, actually steepling her fingers in front of her face and, oh, Tim knew this was a bad idea.


End file.
